Self-Confidence

Welcome back friends!  So did you find some time to ask few questions to yourself? Did you get your answers?  Did it make any difference?  Fine let’s continue.

We discussed about asking wise questions and its implication in decision making process.   But how do we know whether we are asking a wise question?  For me there is only one answer for this.  It’s your ‘confidence’.   You have to be self-reliant to be wise. 

I have come across several situations where people say that they are not getting enough attention or they are not getting what they deserve or they have been left behind and so on.  This might be true.  Our performance might be better than others.  We might have accomplished the given task within the timeline.  And still we are left behind.   Why?  Did we ever try to find out the reasons for this?  Was something lacking in us?  Did we miss asking something?  Did we not meet all required standards?  There must be a reason!

I think we might have missed asking a confident question or possibly exposing our confidence level, which is the key to our success; and an elucidation to our achievement!  Our success and failure is directly attributed to the way we ask questions to different situations and how confident we are.  We can’t always say “I’m like a cat.  Throw me up in the air and I’ll always land on my feet.”  Don’t blame others for the situation and make statements like ‘it is due to discrimination’ or ‘he is lobbying against me’ and so on.  I am not saying that there is no discrimination or lobbying in organizations.  However, we will be able to overcome these and come up with better answers or solutions, if we ask a wise question at the right time with ‘confidence’.

Like any other art, I believe questioning skill is also an art, and everyone can develop this by practice.  Likewise self-confidence can also can be learned and built on. One way of developing our personal skill and confidence is through meditation, which means identifying one’s self through concentration.  I do not want to go into the details of meditation and its effects now.  We might probably at a later stage consider discussing this topic.  For now let’s revert to confidence. 

What is self-confidence?  We can come up with different definitions for self-confidence.  Is it about speaking in public, or being confident in social situations, or being assertive on getting what you want?  I think it is more than all these?  I think it’s about us being in control of ourselves.  When we lose our control we lose our confidence.  And this happens when our sub-conscious mind stops asking right questions to prompt our conscious mind to ask wise questions.  Self-confidence will help us to be positive and realistic and to trust in our abilities.  People who are not self-confident will always wait for approvals or be dependent on others for making decisions.

Please note that being confident does not mean that we will be successful in all subjects and in all situations.  If we are able to analyze our own aptitude and altitude, we will realize the areas where we can perform.  And the best way to do this is to ask ourselves, whether we want take up a task or not.  If we are confused we should not hesitate to contact a good counselor.  There are different studies which gives ways to improve self-confidence.  Some of the main areas I found interesting and useful are: Keep smiling and speak slowly as it will make ourselves feel better and definitely increase self-confidence. Make eye contact while maintaining a smile and it will reinforce our feelings and confidence.  Hold to our own standards and forget other people’s standards.  Remember that however hard we try, we cannot always satisfy others.  Try and present ourselves as well as possible: our physical appearance will have great impact in our confidence levels while interacting with others.  Be honest and try and keep calm in unexpected situations.  Think positive!

Remember the quote by Virginia Woolf an English author and writer: “Without self-confidence we are as babes in the cradle”.

In the coming days we will try to discuss how the power of questions or art of questioning works in different situations in our daily life.  Until then enjoy and have a wonderful day!